Friday, 20 June 2008

This few weeks, i have been going thru a lot in my life, things that i never expected, i cant believe i dealt with it, thank god zahr was there for me ...well not all the time...but i appreaciated his help and concern he shows. well im glad the dark clouds are over, but the future is still uncertain to me.

My parents have been stressing me about income...im still free and easy even after i finish my sch...zahir too kept blaming me for being too free, money, money, money well then again it makes the universe going ard<>

Rite now, im facing problems with my relationship with zahir, u noe whn both parties demand what they want, it gets tough to fulfill each other whn both wants tis thing called understanding...Zahir is very busy indeed, well although he's not a businessman, he works like all day n niteevery single dae, most often he will be at serangoon after work and continues to be there till 1,2,3 am in the morning...bcos of this, i don get to c him much often, i REALLY REALLY MISS HIM ALOT, i yearn for his time to be there with me and spent it. things aret the same whn we were newly together last time. last time for the first few months, the dating period, he' not that busy, i meet him almost everydae in a week like 6/7 daes.... now its rarely for me to even meet him up..

Often enuf, almost all the time, i was the one who who ask him whether to meet or not... giving it a thought. i juz realise that all this while after all the months we have been together, he had never been the first one to ask me out, it has alwaes been me.. now its no wonder that things gone worse... i was the one crazy for him, not him... does that mean he doesnt love me?

understanding? demands? i alwaes stress my cadets about voicing out what u want, but after voicing out what u want, well its difficult to grant it then...oh man, saying what u wan is a gd thing cos only then, ppl will noe what u want, but what if they cant accept or even grant it for u?

Zahir thinks that bcos im not working and im carefree, i have all the time in this world, thats why i want to c him like anytime, the fact is all this while we met recently but i was merely tagging along siting in the lorry following his ard doing his stuff, not our stuff.. do u call that spending time? well yes generally i was there , he was there too, but we didnt do things together, i merely tag along and see and wait till he finishes his work, and after that he sends me home.. thats it nothing more...

whenever i ask him out, he will start to compare th malay community and his. saying that i wan him to follow like the malay boys bringing their gals to window shopping, catch a movie la, go hotel la, eat dinner la... how unreasonable! isnt these are some ways to do activities together and spent time just for the both of the parties? thn what does zahir prefers to be called as healthy activity for a couple?

i really hope that i can reach him and make him sees my point of view and fulfill it...cos i really miss the times whn we really spent together nt doing each other things, but just two of us doing things that we are happy with TOGETHER...

6:34:00 pm
.The MoTivAToR.

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**When u tell me that u love me**

I want to call the stars down from the sky
i wanna live a day that never dies
i wanna change the world only for u
All the impossible i wanna do
i wanna hold u close under the rain
i wanna kiss ur smile and feel the pain
i noe whats beautiful, looking at u
in a world of lies, u are the truth

and baby everytime u touch me, i become a hero
i make u safe no matter where u are
and bring u everything u ask for,nothing is above me
im shining like a candle in the dark, when u tell me that u love me
i wanna make u see just what i was
Show u the loneliness and what it does
you walked ino my life to stop my tears
everything is easy now i have u here

and baby everytime u touch me i become a hero
i make u safe no matter where u are
and bring u everything u ask for,nothing is above me
im shining like a candle in the dark when u tell me that u love me
In the world without u, im alwaes hunger
what i need is your love to make me stronger
and baby everytime u touch me i become a hero
i make u safe no matter where u are
and bring u everything u ask for,nothing is above me
im shining like a candle in the dark, when u tell me that u love me
when u tell me that u love me

Cravings

It's Me The MoTivAToR!

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